Law Hacks

We all need to eat

2008-03-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

Arden Group is poised to become the #2 premium full-service grocer for Southern California's bountiful health nuts now that Whole Foods has been made more whole with the addition of Wild Oats. With all the changes these new age companies are bringing to the exciting world of groceries, can Village Super Market make it with a CEO who has been packing shopping bags since 1955? Slow and steady Kroger might make the best inflationary play.

TalkingMonkey thinks Arden Group is poised to become the #2 premium full-service grocer for Southern California's bountiful health nuts now that Whole Foods has been made more whole with the addition of Wild Oats. With all the changes these new age companies are bringing to the exciting world of groceries, Pencils2 still believes Village Super Market can make it with a CEO who has been packing shopping bags since 1955? Gemhater reminds us that slow and steady Kroger might make the best inflationary play.

How To Get Off A Jury

2008-03-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

A juror was permitted to leave a jury after having another juror performed the Heimlich manuveur to remove lunch from her throat. Though the women did not require emergency ambulance transport, she was permitted by the judge to skip the remaining deliberations. Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure 23(b)(3) "permit[s] a jury of 11 persons to return a verdict, even without a stipulation by the parties, if the court finds good cause to excuse a juror."

HACK: To get out of difficult jury deliberation, choke on your lunch.

Story.

Don't jump off the Empire State Building

2008-03-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

In fact, don't even THINK ABOUT jumping off the Empire State Building. You will faced reckless endangerment charges even if you get stopped before you leave the ledge.

The state appeals court has overturned a Manhattan judge's decision to clear daredevil Jeb Corliss of charges related to his attempt to parachute off the Empire State Building. While Corliss appeared to have gotten off last year when a judge said the former Discovery Channel "Stunt Junkies" host's April 2006 attempt to jump off the 86th floor wasn't putting anyone at risk, an appellate court unanimously overturned that earlier decision. The court said Corliss endangered building security officers, gawkers on the observation deck and people on the ground when he made it onto the observation deck's ledge by scaling a steel barrier.

Additional commentary by Simple Justice and by Eric Turkewitz.

Don't Listen to Donald

2008-03-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

If you've defaulted on your mortgage payments, the Donald says "Don’t leave your house. Work with your bank. If you have to, fight the bank. Figure out a way to make a deal."

Why this is s an idea that makes a lot of sense in theory, bankruptcy attorney Kevin Chern doesn't believe this advice is realistic:

While Trump is cheerfully suggesting that it's easier to work things out than you might imagine, an NPR headline tells us that the Federal Reserve Chairman is urging banks to help borrowers more. And the California Reinvestment Coalition (CRC) has just released a report tellingly titled The Growing Chasm Between Words and Deeds. That study was based on the reported experiences of mortgage counseling agencies during December of 2007—a time during which podiums and news reports across the country were littered with positive statements about the great strides lenders were making toward working effectively with borrowers.
Those agencies reported both foreclosures and short sales as "very common" outcomes during that period, and indicated that the concessions lenders were willing to make were often so short-term as to merely forestall the inevitable.

Don't trust your Aunt Jemima

2008-03-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

About to sit down in front of a hot stack of Aunt Jemima's best pancakes? Not feeling well after downing a pile of waffles? Quaker Oats is recalling Aunt Jemima Pancake & Waffle Mix on fears of salmonella contamination.

Look in your cupboard for the recalled products-- Aunt Jemima Pancake & Waffle Mix: Original and Original Complete and Buttermilk Complete sold in 2 pound and 5 pound boxes with Best Before dates of FEB 08 09 H through FEB 16 09 H stamped on the top and containing the following UPC codes:

30000 43272: Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Complete, 5 lb.
30000 05040: Aunt Jemima Original, 2 lb.
30000 05070: Aunt Jemima Original Complete, 2 lb.
30000 05300: Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Complete, 2 lb.

How to Make Money for Having a Cold

2008-03-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

Been fooled by the mythical schoolteacher who created Airborne cold remedy in response to being "constantly exposed to germs in her classroom"? In 2006, ABC News discovered that the "clinical study" that Airborne had been touting as proof that its product cured colds was not really very clinical, nor much of a study.

"There was no clinic, no scientists and no doctors," ABC reported. "The man who ran things said he had lots of clinical trial experience. He added that he had a degree from Indiana University, but the school says he never graduated."

That report sparked a class-action lawsuit. Now, while not admitting any wrongdoing, the company has agreed to settle the lawsuit and pay out a total of $23 million to Airborne customers (and those drug store customers claiming to be Airborne customers). You can claim a refund by filling out a form at this Web site. Airborne will refund the full price of all Airborne products for which you have a proof of purchase. But even if you don't have a receipt, you can still get a refund on up to six products: $10.50 per box of Seasonal Airborne, $2.75 per box of Gummi Airborne, and $6.99 for all other Airborne products.

Since the ABC report, the company has laid off claims that its product "cures" colds. Now the word "cold" appears nowhere on its packaging, and the company's CEO, Elise Donahue, told ABC that "We don't know if Airborne is a ... cure for the common cold." Rather, she said, the product "helps your body build a healthy immune system."

HACK: Fill out online form to get paid back on your drug store cold 'remedy' purchases.

From Slate.

How To Avoid A Drug Test

2008-03-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, Washington, had his friend shoot him, and then told the police he was shot while jogging in order to avoid an upcoming drug test at work. Though he did skip the drug test, he and his friend were charged with crimes.

HACK: To avoid charges of false reporting and reckless endangerment, create a more convincing story.

Full story.